Education is probably one of the greatest challenges that humanity has had to face. I at least find this task extremely great, but also very challenging. Raising my children to be honest is an absolute cornerstone for me. This can protect you and your family from great dangers. So I invite you to consider why you should raise honestly.

practice honesty

I don't know how you grew up and how important honesty was in your family. In our society, a change is very clear: Honesty is no longer a cornerstone, and if it is, then rather a cornerstone communicates as practiced becomes.

Little kids - little lies, big kids - big lies?

Do you find yourself thinking: when children are small, isn't it so bad to lie a little here and there? If so, then it's really understandable. You're often just trying to get your kids to do what they need or should do at the moment. The little lie then sometimes helps to avoid an endless discussion.

Or do you feel that you basically find the (emergency) lie okay? Well, everything has a price. And so does lying.

As your young children grow older, they will learn from you how to deal with problems on a daily basis.

If you like to twist the truth to get out of silly situations, then they've definitely got one thing: "(White) lying is okay. My parents do it too.” And so they enter their teenage years with this idea that lying is okay. After all, nothing teaches a person better than a role model.

By the time they are teenagers, your child will apply what they have learned.

An honest society?

We live in a society steeped in lies. In every message I read, I have to fear that there will also be lies. The value of truth has become so irrelevant. That need surprise no one.

Because my first reason to be honest is: I love a God who loves the truth. And he tells me, "I want you to love truth and honesty, too." My second reason is that I really see the good effects of truth.

But when a society does not believe in God, it lacks this first reason. Without God it is then up to you alone: you can decide for yourself whether it makes sense for you to tell the truth. But that brings with it big problems.

Because a little bit of lying still gets you off a good path, like walking a little south when you meant to go north. Because as far as south and north lie and truth are apart.

In the end, this doesn't just affect you; your whole family will be pulled in the direction you take.

One effect of this change of direction is that at some point you yourself no longer recognize the truth correctly. If you keep walking down the path of lies, at some point you will start believing your own lies.

At least now it will be critical. Then a lot in your relationships can break or has already broken. That's the price lies have.

Loving and practicing the truth

You probably feel the same way that you really don't like it when you're being lied to. When politicians and journalists lie, there is (rightly) a lot of excitement. But something suddenly seems to change when it comes to the fact that I should also be honest myself.

There is not much more important than loving the truth and practicing it yourself. The truth is often uncomfortable and exhausting. Sometimes telling the truth comes at a price. It can be very uncomfortable and leave me disadvantaged.

Honesty has a price. But dishonesty also has a price. And it's even higher.

When dishonesty creeps into your relationship with your child, the price is even higher today than it used to be. Because in the past, a child had to go to dark corners too late if they wanted to betray their parents.

Today it's all possible in your child's room, with a tap or two on the phone. Unobserved, your child will find endless videos and pictures here that will ruin their self-esteem.

Breaking through this starts with your child telling or showing you the truth. Is it important to you that your child is honest with you? Are you interested in what thoughts your child is exposed to? I have to keep reminding myself of this and start talking to my children again.

I find honesty quite comparable to a seat belt. It's uncomfortable sometimes too. Nevertheless, I buckle up in the car and so does my child. Because being in an accident without a seat belt is much more uncomfortable.

Where has my child gone?

One of the saddest things about raising children is when a distance builds up between you and your child like a wall - like you're losing your child. Your happy, loving relationship has suddenly turned into a state of argument or silence, an intangible distance.

This has so much to do with raising honest - ie you are honest and you encourage your children to be honest.

Because when your child has got into the habit of hiding their heart from you, it's so hard to get back into it through conversation. Because the truth is no longer an issue at all. Why should the child tell you what is really going on inside him?

As a mother, I need wisdom for this. I get it from God. I can ask him for wisdom, and he is happy to give it. Otherwise I would despair.

When you're struggling with your child, the first step is to say, "Come on, let's be really honest with each other. How are you? How am I? How do you feel about the problem we have…?”

Have an open heart towards your child

If you want to bring up your child well, if you want their life to be successful, then fight for a heartfelt relationship with your child. It starts every day with your decision: "I choose to love the truth. And I share my thoughts instead of getting what I want through clever maneuvers. Even if it's difficult for me."

And then you can ask your child to trust you and open up to you. Because your relationship will only succeed if you trust each other and are honest with each other. Trusting you is then your child's choice, which you cannot force.

Of course, it doesn't happen automatically that your child will be honest if you are also honest.

Every child will lie. But it's hard to motivate your child to tell the truth when you often lie yourself. Since I would lack the arguments.

But if you're honest, you have the base to convey, "Hey, the truth is so important! I can't trust you if you're not honest. Isn't it important to you that I can trust you? Otherwise, sooner or later our relationship will break down. Is it worth it to you that we have a good relationship?”

Honesty and trust - the cornerstones for your healthy family

Where there is no truth, there is no trust either. And where there is no trust, it will be difficult for you to be honest with one another. Both belong together.

If I know my husband is lying to me, I can't trust him because he doesn't give me any reason to. This is such an important cornerstone in our marriage that we know my husband can trust me and I can trust him that we tell each other the truth. This is a precious treasure that I never want to lose.

I want to communicate this to my children as well. Because at some point they too will have a relationship that doesn't work without honesty.

Your child needs to know that if they lie to you, you can no longer trust them. In the small as in the big.

Building an honest world starts in your family

Is honest parenting that important? Yes! Because lies are dangerous and destructive.

We so desperately need a society that loves the truth. We need that in politics and in the media. But it doesn't start there.

We need children who grow out of our families into adults who shape our society with honesty and change it positively. It starts at home with each individual. With me and with you and with how we treat the people around us.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Anita